Sunday, June 19, 2011

Day 251 - Happy Father's Day

Two months after my Dad died last year I wrote a letter to him in the form of a blog post (Day 20). It's been another seven months and a day hasn't passed without me thinking about him. I'm re-posting that letter to him today, on Father's Day, just because it feels like the right thing to do. I was inspired to create this blog by my Dad and I dedicate every word to him. Make sure you take the time to tell your Dad how special he is today - and every day.

Hi Dad,

It's been a little over two months since you died and I'm still really struggling with the fact that you aren't here. As more days pass, I realize how much I relied on you for support - in good times and in bad - and how much it affects me that I can't just pick up the phone and call you. I realize that my phone calls to you greatly helped me deal with stress in my life - you would always listen to me and what I had to say that day;  you always picked up the phone regardless of how you felt. Unfortunately, talking to mom is just not the same.

I knew you were a great man but as time passes without you, I realize even more the commitment you made to your family - and that you kept it both in good times and in bad. I hope you know how much I love you and how great an influence you have been in my life. I am very proud of the fact that I was raised on classical music, Shakespeare, and changing my own oil. I am so grateful for every day I had with you - even the bad ones. I think you and I have a very special relationship that I will always cherish. I'm so thankful to have had someone like you in my life - I feel like I have learned from both your triumphs and miseries and I am grateful for it.

So where do I go from here? I feel lonely sometimes without you - you really "get" me and always have. I feel like I am somewhat of an enigma to the family sometimes. It's hard to move forward in life without your biggest fan and moral compass. But I am making every effort to get to a better place knowing that you will always be in my heart. I know our long talks on the phone where we would keep saying goodbye but never hang up are now just a happy memory. But I know that you were - and still are - my biggest advocate, my shoulder to lean on, my person to share grand ideas and dreams with. I hope that you are still watching and listening because I plan to keep talking even though I keep trying to say goodbye. I'll never hang up.

Love you with all my heart,
Sarah

4 comments:

Lindy Mint said... Best Blogger Tips

I would be so lost without my dad.  I don't realize what an anchor he is in my life until I start thinking about him being gone.

It's such a good reminder for all of us to not take for granted what we have.  A very sweet letter.

60kproject said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

Pepper said... Best Blogger Tips

That is really beautiful, Sis. I am grateful that you and Dad had such a special bond.

60kproject said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks, Sis! Took me a while to realize it, but we did.

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